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i dont understand why people just like spoiling moods.

when your mood is already sunk.

is it that difficult to say nicely?

i miss granddad alot,

daddy told us he would cry when he thinks of him.

that left all of us in awkward silence.

i mean 2 years already.

i bet grandma miss him like crazy.

i guess when someone living 40 plus years with you

leaves,

its just unacceptable.

grandma is so sweet to us,

gave mama,me,brother 50 bucks angbao each.

for bon voyage.

thats like the sweetest thing can?

yet at the same time,leaving me with guilt.

i think everyone,still havent got over it.

even if they look fine on the surface.

daddy told us to appreciate everything.

i cant imagine the day i attend another family's funeral.

i think i will be so super upset.

i reallyreally miss you, grandpa.

your frowns/smiles.

i really wont be able to accept if papa,mama or anyone go.

everyone will die,

blahblah,even if it's so.

the saddest thing is knowing,you might not meet them after that.

gah,i really hate thinking about such things.

i need to start appreciating everyone.

which can be so diffcult,

because somepeople sometimes so nice,

sometimes so mean with their words,even if it meant well.

it still hurts,

and sinks people's mood.

and i will never forget every word you say,

i know why they say tongue is such a powerful weapon.

some words even a million sorries wont erase.

yes,i'm a weird person.

but i've learnt something from them:

i never ever want to be like you.